Running toward something more

I went out to run today, like i haven't in along time. At first it came easily, and it felt as if my strength and skill hadn't at all faded over the years. It felt good, like it was something i was meant to do; then i couldn't run anymore. It became painful and after all but a couple of minutes the strength and freedom I'd felt were all but gone and i was left with the steep and long journey home. I know my way home, and all i have to do is walk back the way i came to save myself the trouble of things that might be in my path, but i didn't want to go back; i wanted to continue forward. I think its the same with our journey back to our Father in Heaven. He has made the path clear in our minds and has given us all the freedom and strength it takes to get home. But like i let myself slack in running and let the pain of my knees be an excuse for my stopping i and so many of God's other children have let life's trials take the blame for falling off His path. There are so many times that i wish i hadn't stopped running, just like i wish i could take back some of the things I've done in my life. But i can't look back on the path I've traveled thus far with regret and longing to turn back. I have to, like i did today, continue onward and hope that I'll be able to get back home safely. Many who know me and my family have the common knowledge that we live by a cemetery. Today before i went home i made the choice to jog down into the cemetery and look at the gravestones. One in particular i love to visit. It's the headstone of one D.Michael, born October 16th 1999 died December 13th 1999. It's not because his grave is decorated with his would have been Christmas toys, or the cute picture that is on it; but the peace and warmth i feel when I'm around it that draws me in. Whenever I'm around it, I'm humbled to know that this small child will be welcomed home into our Father's loving arms and not have to experience the harsh reality of the world. And like this small boy, my brother will also have had that experience. No, i didn't grow up with my brother, and in fact he would be several years older than me. But i feel like i don't need to grow up with someone to know them. All my life I've known of my brother and I've always wondered what it would have been like to grow up with him. But he has always been with me, if i knew it or not. He has been here guiding me along my way. and tho i may choose to do things that make me forget him, i can always feel his warmth again when i do the right. Growing up in the church I've been taught that families are forever and that we can live with those passed again. But I've also been taught that we have been given people throughout our lifetime to help us along our way. Some of those people sent to me, i have come to realize are one amazing young man Jacob Foist and the most loving Young woman Shantelle Meacham. Theses two have taught me more in the last couple of years then i can remember learning in ten. From them i have been reminded that i am a daughter of God, and he loves me. And no matter what i do in my life, if i choose to repent and come back to Him, He will welcome me with open arms. I have also learned that in this lifetime there will be trials that come whether we want them to or not; but if we put our trust in the Lord and push forward in faith we can overcome even the hardest thing. I will never forget the journey I've taken or the things I've had to overcome to get where i am now, but i will also never forget the things i must now do to become stronger and become a better example to those around me. I'm happy to have grown up in the church and have the opportunities i have, and to know the people i do. Some of my best friends are members of the church, and i know that i will have a connection with them that i don't with those not. No matter what happens i will be strong. Because I'm not perfect, but i will never stop trying. Just like i will never stop running (or at least trying). :)