Diversity and the World

In light of recent events taking place all over the world I’d like to take just a few moments to talk about diversity and everything that goes with it. I’m talking stereotypes, racial and ethnic groups and what each of these mean. First I am going to start off with where I belong is all of this. So what ethnic, cultural and racial groups do I belong to and what is the difference? The racial group that I identify with is Caucasian or white. Racial groups refer more to physical appearance, I have white skin, freckles and so on. It is because of these features and the fact that my parents also have these that I say I am white. However, when it comes to ethnic groups I would say I am a mixture of Scottish, Irish and English. Ethnic has to do more with where your ancestors come from then what you look like. Lastly, what culture do I identify with the most. Well, since I was born in the United States of America, I would say I am all American. However, at the same time I would also say I am a Latter-day Saint aka Mormon. When it comes to culture you break it down into other things such as religion. Culture is what you take part in, what you believe in and how you live based on these things. For example, if I traveled to Japan on business it is customary to bow when greeting someone. This is part of their culture, it is tradition.
Now I’d like to move on to something else we are seeing all over the news lately, prejudice and stereotyping. What is prejudice? What are stereotypes? What is the difference? Really they go hand in hand. A stereotype is a belief about a certain group of people. Prejudice is the feeling people have towards a certain person or group of people based on their membership and involvement in that group. One example of stereotyping I’ve seen in my own life has to do with the religion that I practice and grew up practicing. Like I stated earlier I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. When I was in school, probably around the age of twelve we covered the “Mormon Migration” in history class. There were a few people in the class that knew I was a member, however there were more that didn’t. Some of the things I was asked during this class consisted of “Do you have horns on your head? How many mothers do you have?” Or I was also asked whether I worshiped Joseph Smith over Jesus Chirst. I don’t blame people for asking these things, because there is a lot of material out there that says all of these things are true, although I still have no idea where the horns theory came from. When people asked me all of these things I personally felt a little embarrassed, but at the same time I knew how to clarify them. All in all, after I got over my initial shock of being the center of the entire classes attention I was able to help others understand, and turned it into a valuable teaching experience.

Always and Forever

wow... I guess it's been a long time since I've written. So much has changed. I'm getting married, in about two months... and things are moving fast. I don't know where we are going to get all the time to get everything done. I'm happy beyond belief, but at the same time I'm scared. Not scared about getting married, no, about after. I would do anything for my future husband, but I'm afraid that that wont be enough. I want everything for him, and I'm not sure if I can give him that. We get in fights over the most stupid stuff. He wants to be a mechanical engineer... but right now we are both are stressed and worried about school/futures. I am worried that stress will just get worse. I just want to see him happy. And I want to be happy with him, always and forever.

Devil's fire

Sometimes I don't understand the reasons for the way I feel. It just happens. Like today, I feel down, and I can't explain why. Brenton has been trying his best to raise my spirits and make me happy, but nothing seems to be working. What is wrong with me? Is there something inside me that just prevents me from feeling happiness? Is there something inside that causes all this pain? Sitting here.. I look around at my College English class and wonder "how many of these seniors are like me?" How many of them feel the heat of the devils fire? Can they see inside of my soul, know what I know? Is there something, someone out there that can stop this numb from spreading deep inside? I want to feel love, hate, happiness, and desire.

Choices

So I've decided to chose a few select subjects to write about... just to give my opinion. Idk, maybe I'll find a few things out about myself along the way. My first subject is agency. "Agency is essential in the plan of salvation. Without it, you would not be able to learn or progress or follow the Savior. With it, you are 'free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil'(2 Nephi 2:27)". I believe that without agency, we wouldn't be able to make the mistakes that make us who we are. Without agency, we would all just be zombies roaming the streets; mindless to the world around us. It is agency that lets us learn how to become better people, people that can stand up for who we are; who can face our past and live to face each new day. I for one am happy that I chose to live a life of choice, I know I've made mistakes but with agency I have been given a chance for forgiveness. Christ gave me this life. All I need to do is make a choice.

Someday

Someday I'll leave everything behind
find the land in my mind
Watch the birds fly
High in the sky
Run over each grain of sand
feel the grass beneath my hand

Someday I'll runaway from here
someday I'll disappear
Be the focus of the magic trick
to any far of land-
take your pick

Wont have to worry all day
Instead I'll sleep my cares away
Sleep under the stars in the sky
Watch a falling star fly by

One day this could all be real
no need for a devil's deal
I'll work hard for my pay
and maybe someday
someday I'll find peace
Find a new lease-
on life

New People

Making friends is really hard for me. Especially after everything that's happened this past year. I just don't trust as much as I used to. I've lost a lot of good friends, and I'm scared that it will happen again. So when a friend of my suggested I go dance with a friend of hers I was a little more than scared. First, I'm not that good at swing to begin with. I've only been like maybe 3 times max? Then she's like, "you're gonna really like this guy!" Oh gosh... even more for me to be nervous about. So side note- the last person I was introduced to broke my heart; he was like a big brother to me. We used to talk for hours, and when he went on his mission I would write him. But when he got back, things changed. And I lost the best friend I'd ever had. So you can see why I was a little scared. I danced with him, and it was wicked fun :). We've been talking ever since. I'm slowly learning to get over my fear of trusting new people.

The Music in Me

You know those moments when you are the only one home and you turn your music up all the way and sing along? I practically live for those :). Lately, I've been talking a lot about how I'm not the person I used to be; well that's true. To tell you the truth, the past two years have really changed me, inside and out. Changed the way I think, the way I feel, the music I listen to, the way I act, and the things I write. When this all started I thought this was all a curse, but after everything, I think it has really helped me change for the better. I've grown up a lot. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy the simple things in life; but I am more cautious. The only time I am really able to enjoy the old me is those moments when I'm singing at the top of my voice to Three Days Grace, Falling in Reverse, or Evanescence. I don't have to worry about the way other people see me. When I hear music, when I sing, when I play... I let everything go. Nothing else in the world matters. Because nothing else it there. I was forced to leave Symphony this year because of health problems, and I really miss it. It was the one time a day where I didn't have to worry about answering questions or stupid exams I could just play and enjoy it. I really miss that. Sometimes when no one is home I'll get my cello out and play, just to have something back to normal. Idk. Without music, I think my life would end... seriously. Music and writing are everything to me. They are the only ways I can express how I feel. The main character in my novel also plays... and there is a part where she is playing in a concert and she can feel the music flowing through her into her bow and out into the audience. That's exactly how it used to be for me. I miss it, but maybe there is a reason for me not playing. Maybe there is something else that I need be doing. I want to show the world that I'm better... side note- I spent a lot of last year, and still am afraid of my past. but someone recently told me that it's because of the past that we are who we are today, it's nothing to be ashamed of. That is why I still want to share with the world the music in me; hopefully someone will think it's something worthwhile.