"By small and simple means"

So, as many of you know already, and for those of you who may not know; i am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints. And as a youth in the church i had the opportunity to go to an activity called youth conference. This year our theme was "Survivor" but it was more focused on the temple and preparing to go there and staying worthy. As such, one of our activities was going to the Louisville, KY temple to do baptisms for the dead. I love doing this, because it helps those on the other side, and gives them the choice of accepting the gospel. This time however i was especially touched by the priesthood holder who was baptizing me. As he read one of the names he paused and his voice cracked. And in that small, quiet moment he told me that the women i was doing the work for was a member of his wife's family. It was just a small reminder that these people have families still here who are going to be sealed to them for eternity because of the sacrifices we make to stay worthy and spend our time in the temple. And it is proof that doing such a small thing such as going to the temple that something much greater can happen. I'm glad that i'm a part of the work and i hope i can be better at doing my own family work.

Running toward something more

I went out to run today, like i haven't in along time. At first it came easily, and it felt as if my strength and skill hadn't at all faded over the years. It felt good, like it was something i was meant to do; then i couldn't run anymore. It became painful and after all but a couple of minutes the strength and freedom I'd felt were all but gone and i was left with the steep and long journey home. I know my way home, and all i have to do is walk back the way i came to save myself the trouble of things that might be in my path, but i didn't want to go back; i wanted to continue forward. I think its the same with our journey back to our Father in Heaven. He has made the path clear in our minds and has given us all the freedom and strength it takes to get home. But like i let myself slack in running and let the pain of my knees be an excuse for my stopping i and so many of God's other children have let life's trials take the blame for falling off His path. There are so many times that i wish i hadn't stopped running, just like i wish i could take back some of the things I've done in my life. But i can't look back on the path I've traveled thus far with regret and longing to turn back. I have to, like i did today, continue onward and hope that I'll be able to get back home safely. Many who know me and my family have the common knowledge that we live by a cemetery. Today before i went home i made the choice to jog down into the cemetery and look at the gravestones. One in particular i love to visit. It's the headstone of one D.Michael, born October 16th 1999 died December 13th 1999. It's not because his grave is decorated with his would have been Christmas toys, or the cute picture that is on it; but the peace and warmth i feel when I'm around it that draws me in. Whenever I'm around it, I'm humbled to know that this small child will be welcomed home into our Father's loving arms and not have to experience the harsh reality of the world. And like this small boy, my brother will also have had that experience. No, i didn't grow up with my brother, and in fact he would be several years older than me. But i feel like i don't need to grow up with someone to know them. All my life I've known of my brother and I've always wondered what it would have been like to grow up with him. But he has always been with me, if i knew it or not. He has been here guiding me along my way. and tho i may choose to do things that make me forget him, i can always feel his warmth again when i do the right. Growing up in the church I've been taught that families are forever and that we can live with those passed again. But I've also been taught that we have been given people throughout our lifetime to help us along our way. Some of those people sent to me, i have come to realize are one amazing young man Jacob Foist and the most loving Young woman Shantelle Meacham. Theses two have taught me more in the last couple of years then i can remember learning in ten. From them i have been reminded that i am a daughter of God, and he loves me. And no matter what i do in my life, if i choose to repent and come back to Him, He will welcome me with open arms. I have also learned that in this lifetime there will be trials that come whether we want them to or not; but if we put our trust in the Lord and push forward in faith we can overcome even the hardest thing. I will never forget the journey I've taken or the things I've had to overcome to get where i am now, but i will also never forget the things i must now do to become stronger and become a better example to those around me. I'm happy to have grown up in the church and have the opportunities i have, and to know the people i do. Some of my best friends are members of the church, and i know that i will have a connection with them that i don't with those not. No matter what happens i will be strong. Because I'm not perfect, but i will never stop trying. Just like i will never stop running (or at least trying). :)

Faded Memory

Heart beats slow and unconnected
Breathing seems to stop
Don't let me slip and fall
Come back, lift me up
Your picture in the corner
your fading memory
Please come back to me
The once pure gleam of your
sparkling smile
Now nothing more than a dream.
Running mile after mile
reaching out to you.

The warmth you once brought with you
grows cold as the seasons change
You left so quick, so sudden
with no more then a whispered "Good-bye"
Help me feel your warmth again deep down inside.

Speak words of strength to me once more.
Teach me what I need to know
Guide me on my way
I'm reaching out to take your hand
entwine your fingers in mine
Turn, come back to me
Hold me tight in your arms
Don't let your life become
nothing more than a faded memory.

I've been thinking a lot about where I was a couple years ago compared to where I am now. I don't know where I wold be without my friends and my loved ones. there are so many things that they've done that I'll never be able to repay them for. I'm so happy to have the friends I do; although they are few my friends are the best things that ever happened to me. Thanks :)

What's in me

I am Called

I am called to fight
I am called to learn
I am called to stand with God
through is almighty word
and I am called
as a daughter of him

He sent his son for me
the he might die for me
and i must do my part
to come back to his light

I am called to live
I am called to give
a helping had to those in need
I will work through life
with an honest word
And i will strive to live in him

He sent his son for me
the he might die for me
and i must do my part
to come back to his light

I will serve faithfully
Because I am called
of him

I came home today from a pretty awesome day at school, and when I got on the computer I saw a link for the Joseph Smith movie. I sat and watched the movie, then decided to look at the ldsyouth.org... I can't remember the last time I felt the spirit this strongly. I know that I've done things in my life, but I also know that I'm a daughter of my Heavenly Father. As I listen to uplifting music, I can't help but think I want to share this with those around me. It's great to know that I can listen to music that has an uplifting message. I'm so grateful that I'm a member of this church and that I've meet so many great people. Without the church I don't know if I would have ever had the chance to know one of my greatest friends. Shantelle is an amazing example, I'm sure going to miss her when she goes off to college later this year. I've been able to receive so many blessings in my life because of this gospel. I know that my brother Jesus Christ came, lived, suffered and died for me. I also know that He was resurrected and lives again. I want to become more like Him, and stay worthy to live with Him and the Father again someday. I'm going to live my life worthy of going to the temple because that is the straight and narrow path. I will do everything I can to stay on that path of righteousness. I know and shout to the world that Joseph Smith was a prophet of Heavenly Father, and we have a living prophet today. I know that this gospel is true, with all my heart I know that it is true.

BLAH! (revised)

Life has challenges... but I can get through them if I only remember who I am and why I'm here.